Compassion on your Journey
(In this article, I mention Tapping or EFT. If you are new to EFT, please check out my What is EFT? page to learn more)
Many of us are so judgmental, especially of ourselves. We seem to believe that we can change ourselves by berating ourselves- “I really shouldn’t eat this; look at my thighs, they are awful; I should be exercising”, etc…. This way of treating ourselves only keeps us stuck in a place of unhappiness and judgementalness of ourselves and others.
How about trying compassion for a change? Try imaging a small traumatized child. Look into her eyes. How would you treat that child? By berating her? Of course not. You’d give her love and compassion. You’d give her lots of hugs and warm nourishing foods. You’d get her the help she needs emotionally and physically. What might she need? Maybe she’d need time with a good coach or counselor to heal emotional wounds. Maybe she’d benefit from learning how to use Tapping or Positive Affirmations. She might need massages or time to dance and play to learn to feel comfortable in her body again. Prayer, gratitude and meditation would go a long way in her healing. She would especially need lots of time, patience, love, compassion and understanding.
Well, of course, I’m talking about ourselves here. We need loving compassion from ourselves to heal. We all have hurts of some kind. Healing is a journey-sometimes slow and frustrating with setbacks, and sometimes we get to soar with the eagles. The answers lie within. Learning from others is a useful way to awaken the healer within ourselves. Cheryl Richardson says, “On some level I think we’re all artists and healers”. How about learning ways of self care and compassion that work for you?
So what are ways you could treat yourself with love and compassion? How about starting with how you speak to yourself each day. Louise Hay encourages us to say positive affirmations in the mirror daily. If you try this, you’ll probably find that you don’t believe statements such as “I love and accept myself. I deserve love. All is well, etc…” in the beginning but something almost magical will happen if you stick with it. Usually by about day30, you truly believe the encouraging things you say to yourself. Geneen Roth says, “Compulsive eating is only the symptom; believing that you are not worth your own love is the problem. Go for the love. You will never be sorry”. So this is a great place to start. And don’t forget to be patient with yourself; you won’t change overnight.
Another idea is to increase awareness/mindfulness-while writing this I stopped for a moment, closed my eyes and noticed the sweet sounds of the windchimes, rain and birds singing outside my window, and the loving feel of my dog leaning against my leg. Just BEING in the moment instead of always trying to accomplish something is a wonderfully compassionate thing to do for yourself.
There’s also gratitude and appreciation. Hope I don’t sound like a broken record, but really, appreciating what you already have can change your whole outlook and attitude in immeasurable ways. Instead of thoughts like “my thighs are gross and disgusting”; what would happen if you appreciated them with thoughts like “I’m so thankful for my legs; they get me where I need to go”, etc…)
And lastly, food. Choosing food based on the latest fad or because you “should” eat this or that can leave you feeling deprived and hungry. Here’s a crazy idea- ask your body what she wants to eat. When we feed our bodies what they want and eat slowly and mindfully, we feel loved and nourished. And isn’t that what you really want from your food?
So there you have it. Treating yourself with loving compassion makes you feel so much better than beating yourself up and leaves you wanting to do more good stuff for yourself and others. True, lasting weight loss comes from a place of love and compassion, not from a place of deprivation and lack. So what have you got to lose? (Get the pun??) Give compassion a try.